my idea for why i need the scholarship which even succeeded in convincing me that i really need the scholarship came two days too late. ahh well.

the phone has been ringing non-stop this morning: all i need is some peace and quiet.

i had another dream this morning.. something playing on my subconscious mind again i think. but in both this dream and the other i can never reveal (actually both i would not reveal), i made it very clear what i wanted -- which is what i've got now. maybe i just needed some thrill.

drinking has become so much of a pleasure to me now. i wonder this is good or bad. maybe it's just the place, and the people.