Saturday, November 26, 2005
hey i just realized i have 43 blog posts already.. if i include this it would be 44. hmm not bad.. quite alot. considering i used to think blogs were crap =P
went to picnic with meh meh today. and ooooooh crapper i freaking TOUCHED A RED WORM crawling on his pants!!! ahhhhhhh i freaked out sooooooo bad i was jumping up and down and i think my heartbeat rate shot up. and i started having this bad paranoia that some creepy crawly could be crawling around my bag or around me. yucks. my left middle finger touched it. YUCKS i don't even know what freaking thing that was. i only know i think it had two feelers and legs and was red. if i didn't see wrongly cuz it was quite dark 7+pm le under the shelter. ahhhhhhhh. cold bloodies.
i feel like partying and dancing!! every other time rocks! LFO rocks! =D
i think some people are weird. they're like angry at themselves for what they did wrong and then they start to behave so weirdly and start blaming other people? oh please. get a life! lamers -.- -ok hold my tongue- i backspaced lotsa stuff le. bahhs.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
went to jog 2km yesterday. first time in suchhhhhhh a long time. and did 60 sit ups. i think i've never done so many in a day before. wheet. must start my exercise regime. then read on mind your body that you need at least 150 mins of physical exercise every week to reduce cancer. so must exercise!
wonder if its a good thing being accepted for two S papers. plus its the weird combi of chem and econs. people usually take maths and chem. i seem to like things that are different. bahhs. but never mind.. i love myself =) as seen from my blogskin. haha. hmm these 2 S papers can do two extreme things to me, either i will have to sacrifice time for these two extra hard stuffs and result in bad results for certain subs.. or i will push myself to START work and challenge myself and churn out good results as a result. but i need time to read TIME and STRAITS TIMES! im so lazy la. plus it aint helping that i have such a niceee bed! =D daddy says don't challenge myself too hard.. must enjoy life. must
enjoy jc life. (but i got challenge myself till so extreme mehz?) i think i enjoy one year liao. julia who has known me for 4 yrs says she has never seen me so slack before. hmm. never before have i burnt midnight oil.. never have i been sooooo last minute. but then as always i switch myself off in class.. i can be staring at the teacher and not getting any info in. so if i take S paper, maybe i will push myself to be hardworking. but then.. i want to enjoy life and play play and SLEEP! don't know la.. take everything one step at a time.. see what happens. i hope the best happens. miracles work.. right? i can make miracles. =) must
believe..
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
hmm.. today geoff asked me one question: what's the purpose of a relationship? what's the meaning of being together? and what's the final outcome of it?
i thought for a moment and i came up with this.. it takes another person who loves you and who you love to complement you for who you are.. and the final outcome is to share a lifetime of commitment and everlasting love together. that person should be someone you love deeply and who you can bare your heart to..someone who makes you feel special and who makes you feel that he/she is so special that there is no replacement..
tonight was a very special night.. you and me under the night sky.. with the breeze gently caressing our cheeks.. with your warm embrace.. you make everything so beautiful and sweet.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
i'm scared of what the future may hold for me.. i'm scared of major changes.. i'm scared of the unknown. i'm scared of the unpredictable. which means, i'm scared of life itself because 'life is unpredictable' darn it. i really am scared at times.
i lie awake in bed every night, thinking of the possibilities of everything to come. ok that was bullshit. but sometimes i think of the worst that can happen. sometimes, i think i worry too much. i'm scared.
i'm scared of losing everything that i hold close to my heart right now.. i'm scared of changes. i don't want anything to change. at least not the good ones. what if i break a heart? what if i get my heart broken? i
want my fairytale. i want my dreams to come true. are my dreams big? that quiz i did online was true.. i dream of a beautiful future.. but i worry if i will achieve it. i don't want disappointment. i hate disappointment. i don't want it anymore. go away. >.<
i dream to find true love that is everlasting. i dream to spend my life with the man that i truly love and who truly loves me and cares for me, for who i am. cuz i believe in true and everlasting love, and i want to be able to experience it. i believe in love. a true believer. love, is a blessing. i dream to be a.. manager.. or something along that line. and a successful one at that. i dream to be happy.. i dream to live in my beautiful sweet home.
i dream. i dream. i dream that i will become a very good mother, and daughter, and wife. ok that was a screwed up order. it should have been daughter, wife, then mother. i dream to be able to balance work, play and family well.. that is work and social life. i dream to have a son first, then a daughter. (cuz i've always wanted an elder bro)
i dream, i dream. i dream that my parents will support me in whatever i deem right to do.. and that they will live to see me grow up and be successful, and see me happy.
i dream i dream. oh Lord please grant me my wishes. please. is it alot to dream for?
i want my child-like innocence back. is naiveness an innocence? -the child-like laughter.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
did another blogthings.com quiz on birth order predictor. so true, im the only child:
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.
true on the finance and management part. but leave my mark on the world as an author of self-help books?! man!
at what price would you sell out? $1,123,950. what?! i'm only worth slightly more than a million?
darn.
i think i'm a very emotional person. i cry watching sad or touching movies, especially that of love. i pity the hungry lil kitten who got bullied by a small boy while trying to munch on a chicken. i even feel for people who have hurt me. that's what a soft heart does to me, i guess.
and just now, on the bus on the way to tampines.. something set me off.. my nose turned sour for a moment. (if you know what i mean) i held back and calmed myself down. from time to time, i've always thought of the 'what ifs'. but there aint gonna be anymore what ifs. i miss the times when he would say "ling ling baik baik ya" (ling ling take care ok). i miss it all.
what if.
yong2 yuan3 you3 duo1 yuan3?
from a girl who hated pink, to a girl who slowly loved pink, to a girl who slowly diverted her likes to a shade of purple pink. that's me. from a girl that took hours to eat a meal when she was young and who craved for food every two hours, to a girl with a hearty appetite. that's me.
watched along came polly on vcd today.. i just
lovee jennifer aniston. no doubt about that. maN. she's the typical girl-next-door but in a way, gorgeous, and sexy.
i hate people who pester me and don't know their limits. go away. i've had enough.
got this webbie from sushi's bloggie.. found this interesting test result:
You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
call me unreasonable. i am unreasonable. i'm as unpredictable as the..umm, weather? are you gonna bear with it?
he gives all sorts of emotions . happiness sadness anger laughter anxiousness jealousy blah blah blah. forgot what i want to type le. ciao.
memoirs of a geisha the movie comin out soon! i saw in yahoo! movies. wah. so many to watch neh. yesterday i watched sky high. man that was a totally cool show. its like so entertaining.
luck for our OP! =D gonna be my first time working this thu fri and sat. hope i don't screw anything. haha. wine tasting. wheeeeeet. haha. now i must find clothes to wear as the uniform. darn. ok lazy type liao cya~
Sunday, November 06, 2005
hmm.. share quite alot of sentiments with sushi.. sometimes people don't say what they mean.. i used to believe it.. and sometimes it disappoints me.. =X learnt to live with it anyway.. and thus some people say im naive. it's a good thing if you think about it though. haha. but then there are still some people who keep by their word.. =) thanks to those who do so..
got people say i'm refined again! wahaha.. haven't changed all these years.. still called a 'refined' lady. =D but then actually there are two sides of me.. i can be very quiet and shy, i can be noisy and high. i can be refined and can be aggressive when my temper gets the better of me, or when i feel like it. the fighting spirit you see.
read a book from kinokuniya today.. the author writes columns for local newspapers. she was saying it's not a bad thing to reminisce.. and its better to hold on to the sweet memories than to stay awkward friends. quite true.
drank red wine again. the taste was strong. its like i could feel the alcohol evaporating from the surface or something when i was drinking it. haha. and its not like i asked for it. they asked me to drink it. thus, adults are a bad influence. haha.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
some interesting poll results: (my answers are in
blue)
"do you talk to the tv?"
not really i guess, haha.Yes 64.4% vs No 35.6%
"Do you look like your mom or dad?"
dad?33.2%
both
27.4%
mom
23.8%
dad
15.7%
neither
"Can you fall in love to a picture of somebody?"
no59.7%
no
40.3%
yes
"Would you rather be stranded in an island with your cellphone or food?"
hee.. food. and i'll find my way back home.
51.7%
food
48.3%
cellphone
"Are you friendly to other people even when you're in a bad mood?"
not really.52.1%
no
47.9%
yes
"Life has its ups and downs. Where are you at now?"
in between. more on the up i guess. =)46%
in between
29.9%
a down
24.2%
an up
how about you? =)
there's always two sides to a coin.. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if there were no choices to be made in life. that everything would be laid out (nicely?) for you in life and that you have no choice but to accept whatever that comes your way. but they always says its the welfare of everyone to be able to choose, a blessing. true. but then you incur an opportunity cost for every choice you make. and sometimes the opportunity cost is just about as great as that of the first choice you decide to make, but of course not equal.
you cant live life through vague probablities alone. - read it from somewhere.
last night (or rather this morning) i had a dream that me and melmel my cousin was cooking jap food.. those fried stuff.. then nad nad was pouring scrambled egg onto something to cook it too. it was so real eating those stuff ok. that i woke up expecting the fried potato
in my mouth. darn. and i also had another weird dream, but now i forgot what it is.
today's romance in reality is far from those in fairytales. that's probably the reason why people yearn so much to have a fairytale ending.. -translated from a chinese thing i read from a cd..
what is love? "love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" that definition gives a negative light to this beautiful word love! then what is love? love is the feeling when you walk on clouds, touch the star and bring them down.
no.. we cant walk on clouds nor can we touch the star.. then how do we attain love? love is an illusion.
no.. [everything also cannot. you come up with your own definition lah! -.- ]let there be no ending to our story. even as the pages of the notebook are filled to the maximum, our story will go on and on. even as the pages of the notebook fade away, we will not fade into oblivion. as the swans in the pond continue to wade, we too, shall wade our way into a never-ending romance that entails a fairytale ending--
Thursday, November 03, 2005
hmm. maybe i should listen to fate for once. since my computer nor my dad's laptop cant get me to access
that blog, i should stop defying orders and STOP accessing that blog. does me good. does everyone on my side good. hmm. curiosity kills the cat. can someone suppress my overwhelming curiosity?
i want to go and SING my lungs out! karaoke anyone? hurry hurry i cant wait! *beams*
when you tell me that you love meI wanna call the starsDown from the skyI wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the worldOnly for youAll the impossibleI wanna doI wanna hold you closeUnder the rainI wanna kiss your smileAnd feel the pain
I know what's beautifulLooking at youIn a world of liesYou are the truthI'm shining like a candle in the darkWhen you tell me that you love me
just got scolded. yes i wanted the class to be more bonded.. but i thought that when we celebrate birthdays it was girls only? =X ok maybe i should feedback about it..
i thought they didn't bother about it what. ok
some wouldn't bother, but on the other hand some would bother. and those that bother are those i actually care more about. ahh. haiz.
i so easily make people mad mehz? whatever.
im sleepy yet i don't wanna sleep.. went to PS and istana park to celebrate qi's birthday just now.. took lotsa pics and scared ourselves quite abit just now -.- happy 17th birthday! =)
sick, tired.mentally and physically. no, i mean not mentally sick, just physically.
t__ts__ is the cutest thing i've ever met. haha. t__ts__ makes me realize how easy it is to fall in love.. =)
watched a cinderella story just now on hbo.. nice typical fairytale. mm.. can reality always mirror fairytales and have a happy ending like ' and they lived happily ever after' and you close the book. those snobbish rich girls think they're the most beautiful things on earth and just throw themselves at men thinking the men love them to bits. oh puhh-lease. love aint all about superficial stuff.. it's about the inner being that you show.. that's what makes you beautiful.
speaking of superficial, i was thinking a clique, a gang, a boyfriend/girlfriend is just a name you give to groups of people/someone. maybe a couple who is in love always hangs out together, but aren't officially boyfriend-girlfriend.. it doesn't matter that much does it? what matters is how they feel for each other. how they make each other special, and knowing where they stand in each other's heart. see the inner being, not what people label you.
am i soft hearted? i didn't know it was so hard to reject someone.. especially not right in the face. but then the truth always hurts right. but i've already told you the truth dammit. why can't you
understand it dammit
? stop trying to run away from reality. my heart's too small to have more than
that one special one for me. and there ain't gonna be a replacement.
zzz..